"I'm so busy I don't have time to cook. When I call my kids to dinner, they run to the car."
"I believe in a very strict curfew. My kids have to be in at 10pm every night. The other night my son came home twenty minutes early. I had to ask him to leave."
"My daughter's health teacher told her that milk is worse than cigarettes. I thought, who the heck is smokin' milk?!!"
"Dr. Laura says if you have teenagers you should do in-home drug testing. Those kits are some expensive, so I went out and bought a pool test kit. I couldn't tell if my kids were using but I did find out they have perfect chlorine levels!"